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How to make fear into your ally?
How to make fear into your ally? This is the most terrible question everyone thinks about. I’ve been reading several articles on the same issue and so I am writing this small post but with useful tips to succeed. Thank you for stopping by to read this post and please keep sharing to help others can too succeed. Your valuable feedback is shaping the things that I’m going to be talking about each day.
It looks like a big pain point is simply getting things into motion. You’ve gathered the right perspective and the right actions to take, but something is stopping you from a real breakthrough to build momentum.
What’s stopping you to succeed?
First, ask this question to yourself that what is stopping you to succeed. The truth is that nobody is stopping you. It’s yourself!
We all spend our lives inside either one or both of these two cages – our Comfort Zone and our Fear. Today I’m going to talk about Fear. God knows we’ve got all sorts of fears, we even have scientific names for most of them!
Is fear your enemy?
Secondly, ask this question to yourself that is fear your enemy. Definitely not. Fear is a very useful emotion to have because it can push us to do things that incentives can’t. We hear about overcoming our fears a lot. I want to quickly show you how to control it so that you can push forward instead.
At the end of the day, every fear distils down into one thing: the fear of a result – a negative result.
On the other side of the coin, there’s the expectation of a positive result that is trying to get you to break through. This push and pull are where most people are usually stuck. You have a goal that you want to achieve, but your fear is creating huge resistance.
The key to controlling fear then is to control your expectations.
I don’t mean changing your original goal. I mean breaking down your expectations into smaller ones.
For example, say you are terrified of doing presentations but you know it’s a huge opportunity to show senior management your leadership potential. So your pushing and pulling forces would be:
- The Positive Expectation: Success and a chance for a promotion or career boost. This is your motivator.
- The Feared Negative Result: You mess up and lose respect and opportunities. This is your cage. Note that we always imagine the worst case which usually doesn’t happen.
Break down your expectations:
Break down your expectations will encourage you to achieve your bigger goals but in chunks. So, change your perceptions about success and the way you opt for succeeding.
Success is just a result. You can’t control it. Throw it out the window! Expectations should be based on achievable outputs.
For example, you can aim instead to:
- Not be fearful when standing in front of many people
- Be able to speak clearly and project your voice in a large sized room
- Present naturally, and not have to rely on rote memory to recall my slides
These expectations are achievable. If you fulfil them, you have a pretty good chance at success. You can plan systematic actions to help you fulfil all of these. Importantly, because they are more solid, these expectations don’t have a fear component to them! You’ve just removed a huge barrier to push forward.
Remember, everything worth achieving takes effort. There’s always resistance and obstacles.
Fear is a powerful pushing force – learn to control and harness it!
Third, you need to cut the negative vibes in and around your mind. So that you can succeed without any negative barrier.
There’s a lot more where these are coming from, so if you want more like this or if you’d like me to share other topics, please send me your feedback.